Your landing page is bad. Goblin shows you how to fix it.
Paste your URL and Goblin scores it across twelve things that actually move signups — then tells you, in plain words, what to change. Free, in about 30 seconds.
WHAT GOBLIN LOOKS AT
Twelve things, scored.
Same rubric every time. No grading on a curve, no points for trying hard. If it's vague, you'll hear about it.
Above The Fold
- 01
Hero clarity
Who is this for and what does it do.
- 02
Value prop specificity
Concrete promise or vague aspiration.
- 03
CTA prominence
One clear action. visible.
- 04
Trust signals
Logos, names, numbers. or nothing.
Content Quality
- 05
Copy concreteness
Real outcomes or marketing speak.
- 06
Social proof depth
Named customers or "happy users".
- 07
Objection handling
Does it address what makes buyers hesitate.
Design and UX
- 08
Visual hierarchy
Does the eye know where to go.
- 09
Social proof depth
Does it work on a real phone.
- 10
Objection handling
First paint. layout shift. the boring stuff.
Conversion Mechanics
- 11
Form and CTA friction
How many fields. how many clicks. how much pain.
- 12
Pricing clarity
Is the price visible. is it simple.
WHAT YOU GET
Two roasts. One free, one worth it.
Free
$0
✓ 3 dimensions scored
✓ Overall score
✓ Goblin's verdict
✓ Shareable URL
Full Roast
$9 one-time
✓ Everything in Free
✓ All 12 dimensions scored
✓ Rewrites for copy dimensions
✓ Priority fixes
✓ Things Goblin respected
✓ Download Report as PDF
✓ Shareable URL
WHAT PEOPLE SAY AFTER
They asked to be roasted.
"Goblin gave my hero a 3 and told me exactly why. Rewrote it that afternoon. Demo signups doubled the next week."
"I paid the $9 expecting a laugh. Got fourteen specific fixes ranked by impact instead. Cheapest CRO consult of my life."
"Brutal. Accurate. The "things Goblin respected" section was three lines long and I framed it."
"Goblin found a CTA buried below three competing buttons I'd stopped seeing. Embarrassing. Fixed it in ten minutes."
"Sent the report to my designer with no comment. He just replied "yeah, fair." We shipped the rewrites Monday."
"The free report stung enough that I had to see the other nine. Worth every cent of the nine dollars."
QUESTIONS GOBLIN GETS A LOT
Things people ask.
Is this actually mean? +
It's honest, which sometimes reads as mean. Goblin roasts the page, never you. If you wanted a gentle pat on the back, that's what your co-founder is for.
What if my page is genuinely good? +
Then you'll hear it — with evidence, and maybe a little grumbling. It doesn't happen often, but it happens.
How long does it take? +
About 30 to 60 seconds. Goblin reads fast.
What pages can I submit? +
Most public landing pages — SaaS, mobile apps, agencies, courses, e-commerce. Password-protected pages and internal dashboards are out. Those aren't landing pages.
What if Goblin gets it wrong? +
It's opinionated, not infallible. Take what's useful, ignore what isn't. Spot something it clearly missed? Email us — Goblin grumbles, then learns.
Do you do refunds? +
If the report is broken or genuinely unhelpful, you get your money back. Just email us. No forms, no process.
Ready to hear the truth?
Paste your URL — Goblin does the rest. Free report, no account, about 30 seconds.
Roast my page